Welcome to my pity party.
So I'm really feeling frustrated. I love this time of year, but I'm tired and feel crappy! I should be outside playing with Ashlyn and enjoying this beautiful weather! I'm feeling if I write--well in this case, type out my frustration, it will help me feel a little better about myself.
A few things are going on in my mind.
1. My due date is approaching and although I thought I've dealt with it, I can't help but wonder about what might have been. It makes me sad.
2. My hormones are still out of whack from my miscarriage and I'm really getting sick of it. I've finally found a doctor who will listen to me and who has done the full panel of blood work and is willing to help me feel better. I have no progesterone, testosterone, my thyroid is low, and I'm still anemic.
3. Because I have been put on medication for the hormones and thyroid, my weight has now gone up 10 pounds in 5 weeks. It's making me depressed. My clothes aren't fitting. I've got all these cute summer clothes and nothing fits! I'm the highest I've been with the exception of being pregnant.
4. I feel like I'm cheating Ashlyn out of a completely involved Mom, and Cole out of a "normal" Wife.
I'm sorry I'm such a Negative Nelly today...on the upside of things, I have been working out on my Wii and at least I'm enjoying it--haven't noticed any changes yet. And we are going to San Diego soon so that's something fun to look forward too.
Well hopefully things will start to get better.
A little Christmas
14 years ago
8 comments:
hope you get feeling better soon, that is no fun at all. ashlyn is so adorable!!! call me and we should go to lunch sometime, I miss seeing you guys. take care and love you guys tons!
Julie~
I think you're doing great. I'm sure Cole and Ashlyn don't feel like they're being cheated out of anything. You just have to work through your emotions one day at a time and it's not something you have to get over right away or ever. Hang in there!
sending long distance hugs
{{hug}}
hang in there....and at least you're _aware_ that you're in a pity party - isn't that half the battle?!
So glad you found a doctor that will listen. And hope you are feeling more like yourself soon. We should get together and let our kids play and talk about the old days..... Love you, feel better!
will there be formal invites to this pity party of yours? is there a stamp for such a thing? will say BYOT (bring your own tears)??? Cuz, girl - I got 'em. Now - the other thing I was gonna say is... "Do we need a ColdStone Pity Party?" but then I was like, "well, er, um, Emma...she's complaining about poundage, and this is the first thing you offer??? FOOD??? What is wrong with you woman?" Therefore, I will NOT totally remind you that Coldstone is right around the corner. Cuz of course, I would NOT try to tempt you with their yummy goodness and their luscious PeanutButterPerfection with Marshmallows topped with a dollop of Cake Batter Ice Cream. Nope...not me... I'm NOT gonna be the one to bring that up. On the other hand... if *YOU* brought something like that up, well, then that's up to you..... ;)
Julie, I had no idea you were having such a hard time, please come play with us! You are such a great person and I LOVE being around you, seriously. We need to just get out and play, I will call you! ok?
I haven't checked your blog for awhile and was excited to see a few NEW posts. Sorry you are having a hard time. Hang in there! Things are bound to get better.
P.S. You did a great job in primary last week. Sorry you had to be there for my sharing time.
I'm with Emma...when's the official party cause I'll bring the cake :) I'm always there if you need someone to talk to. I haven't had your experience, but my own and I certainly am there to listen, cry with you or simply bring you dinner or a treat. Hang in there! Love ya :)
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