Role Reversal

This happened about two weekends ago, but I have to blog it so I'll remember it!
The other night Cole and I accidentally switched roles for a moment. Cole says that sounds really naughty so I'll explain:
I was lying on the couch watching the New Mexico vs. Utah football game recovering from stamp camp and the medical wonders I had been faced with when Cole comes into the TV room as says, "I need to make a flyer for the Elder's Quorum activity, do you still have the one from the Ward Activity?" Bothered, I pause the game. "Yes" I proceed to tell him from the couch what program to open and where to find the file. Unpause the game...now mind you there were only about 3 minutes left in the 4th quarter. He finds the file and then starts to ask me how to change the information. Annoyed, I pause the game again. I proceed to tell him what he needs to do. Unpause. "I don't see where that is. I can't get this to work!" UGH! PAUSE! "I'll just come over and do it." So I go over, get it typed up and printed out. "Thank you" "You're welcome, also you need a sign up sheet to pass around in Relief Society for people to make cakes." "You think I should pass it around there and not Elder's Quorum?" "Yes", I said, "We want them to be edible." Back to the couch I go and unpause.
Now for you Ute Fans out there, you will remember that we are undefeated this season and this game has come down to the last 2 minutes and we have the ball and are making our way down the field. Score is 10 to 6. Unpause. Then I hear a voice from the computer..."How do I make a sign up sheet?" "There is one saved from the last activity." He finds the file and I hear "What the 'bleep'...this says Martin's Cove." Oh that's right, I helped Kim with a sign up sheet. Pause. I tell him to delete it only to have him still not know what to do. BUGGED...I said, "Why can't you wait until after the game? There are less than 2 minutes left! Does this have to be done right now??" "Don't worry about it, I'll figure it out myself." Feeling bad, I paused the game again and went over and helped him do it (really I just did it for him) and then there it was...the role reversal. I just started laughing and said, "This is hilarious, usually it is the guy lying on the couch watching the game and getting annoyed with being interrupted! How funny is that! You were just the girl!" Oddly, he just didn't find the same humor in it as I did. Oh well, it still makes me laugh!!

Ashlyn's 2 year old pictures!!

Many of you know I LOVE pictures. Especially the ones that capture the personality of people. So since Ashlyn was 10 days old I've had her picture taken regularly to show her growing up. I've used a few different photographers in the past, but due to a HUGE price increase by my last photographer, I began my quest to find someone new who was more affordable. Well, in my search I found one of my sister's friends from when we were growing up. Melissa Sue Photography. Melissa is adorable and I was so excited when I saw her photography blog I knew I just had to use her. She is really reasonably priced and does great work.
A few weeks ago we met downtown (thank you Paige for coming and helping) and I showed up with my little overnight bag full of a variety of outfits because I am terrible at figuring out what looks good in pictures. She was so cute and said, "We'll use all of them if Ashlyn will let us!" Melissa was darling with Ashlyn and worked so well with her. Ashlyn already loves the camera and does this silly little head tilt and a big cheese while squinting her eyes shut, so you have to be quick at getting the 2nd shot when she has opened her eyes. It's hilarious and every kid goes through this stage! Ashlyn was very cooperative and let us change her outfit 4 times before she started telling me it was time to go home.
Well, today I got an e-mail and Melissa has posted the "sneek peek" on her blog. I'll get the CD on Saturday so I'll post some more then, but head over and check out my adorable little girl!!
http://melissasuephotography.blogspot.com/2008/11/ashlynn.html

*Update* on Nightmare at Inn on the Creek

Ok many of you might remember my post Nightmare at Inn on the Creek. If not, refer to the first post in October. Well I've had a few people ask me if we ever got our money back from the evil owner Ed. So today I have an update. Cole ended up having to do a dispute on his credit card because Evil Ed wouldn't return his phone calls. He had to provide documentation of the cell phone records showing what time we had called Evil Ed and a copy of our check-in form from the Marriott. Today we received a letter in the mail from the credit card company saying that the money had been credited back onto his card and the dispute had been settled! YIPPEE! Evil will not prevail!
Now if we can just finish up the case against the thief Dave Bell from Dave's Complete Auto Repair who still has not paid Cole his final paycheck from July 31.

Bargain!!

Ok so I have to brag for a minute...let me start at the beginning. On Tuesday, I needed to go to Target to exchange some cute boots that Ashlyn got for her birthday. While I was there I decided to go and look at the Halloween clearance items. Now I'm not into the digging for bargains, but I will take a moment and look through items on a rack. The costumes were 50% off. I thought to myself, self...these would make great dress-ups if anything else. There were a good variety of costumes still left to choose from. So I bought Abby Cadabby (new fairy on Sesame Street--You will see more of her when I post Ashlyn's Birthday Party) and Mater from Cars. I figure we need to have a variety of dress-ups for boys and girls. The next day I was showing Cole the two costumes and I noticed that Mater was suppose to come with a hat too. PET PEEVE--I hate it when people seperate pieces from things that are sold as a set! So I told him I was going to take it back and see if I could either find the hat or get more $$ taken off. I was planning on going yesterday, but it didn't happen, so we went today. I told the girl at the Customer Service counter my story and began my hunt for the Mater hat. Well much to my surprise...the costumes are now 75% off!!!! So I looked for the hat and didn't find it. I'm sure they probably just threw it away. So again I said to myself, self...Ashlyn has REALLY enjoyed the Abby Cadabby costume why not pick up a few more? Well, I found Wonder Woman--I remember my friends little girl LOVED her Wonder Woman costume, Sleeping Beauty Ballet costume--perfect, Ashlyn has little ballet shoes, and Thomas the Train! Why? Because it was the only one left and it was $5! Ashlyn was very excited about all 3 of them. I returned to the Customer Service counter and asked the guy if they do price adjustments since I had just bought the other two costumes two days ago. He said they did. So he returned the costumes (even though I didn't have the Abby costume with me) and then rang up all of the costumes. My total was $31. As I was leaving the store I looked at my receipt and it said, "You saved $95 on today's purchase" I was giddy :) especially since I saved 3 times more than I paid!! So not bad for dress-ups, 5 costumes for $6.20 each! So if any of you ever need to borrow a costume, give me a call!Here are the pictures of the costumes...I think the little girl dressed as Abby in jammies is the cutest!

I am SO blessed...

I just want to say Thank You to all of you who have shared your thoughts and prayers with us. I knew I had great friends, but I really didn't stop to think about how many friends and how wonderful my friends are. Your concern, compassion, and service is greatly appreciated. Thank you for the kind e-mails, messages, notes, phone calls, flowers, dinners, and offers to help in others way. My home is so bright and happy from the flowers. The messages and e-mails I will always remember. And it has been so nice not having to worry about dinner while I've been recovering. The simplest acts can mean the most.

It's funny because tonight I was telling Cole that I should do more service like I've received. I said, "I should really take dinner to someone sometime." and he said, "You actually have to cook dinner in order to take it to someone. I don't think it would be a good idea to hand them a box of cereal and a 1/2 gallon of milk." I laughed and said, "Hey, I would have you make French Toast and eggs and take it to them!" I thought it was pretty funny. He did say that he didn't mean it rude, he was just saying...

So here is an update on how I am doing. Last week was really rough for our whole family. On Thursday night I ended up in the ER from too much blood loss. It really was not a good experience and the on-call doctor got an earful from my dad which I really think she deserved. For those of you who don't know my dad, you really don't want to be on his bad side. He just tells you how it is. Yes, that is where I get it from. She wasn't my doctor and she was the most uncompassionate woman I have every met. Then later that night I had the "pleasure" of seeing her at the hospital. She told me she has never had a patient's father yell at her. I told her she should think of what her dad would do if it was his daughter who had gone through what I had gone through. She said "Yeah, that's a good point" Aah ya think? Hello! I nearly bled to death at home! Halfwit, of course he was pissed off! I will spare you the rest of her stupidity as far as bedside manor and patient care is concerned.

If I had to do it again, I would have a D&C. I've now heard too many horror stories in regards to the medicine Cytotec, so just from my experience, don't take it! I am however, very impressed with the new hospital although I would have rather not had to have first hand experience with it. Thank goodness for a quick and responsive ER staff. The ER Doc was fabulous and so where the nurses. They worked quick and got my blood pressure back up to normal (it was 80/40) and the color back in my skin. Gray is so not a good skin color on me. See Dr. "Heartless" said to me, "Oh we really don't care about blood pressure, we just care if you have a heartbeat." Oh ok, well if my memory serves me correctly, you have to have blood pumping to your heart in order to maintain a heartbeat! Thank goodness the ER cares about it!

So I now have anemia, which really sucks. Now I know what Cole has been going through for the past 1+ years. I am doing good and just letting my body recover from this. I have to remember to take it easy, I keep wearing myself out. Cole has been great and I am so grateful for a loving and caring husband. He has taken such great care of Ashlyn and me during this time. He even lets me sleep in because he knows I don't feel good. I'm thankful that he is such an involved dad and he is so willing to do so much around the house. It has been a whole new experience and really I could have gone my whole life without having it, but I know there is a reason I had to experience it. Again, it makes me more grateful for Ashlyn and for life. It has also given me more compassion for those who have experienced difficulty trying to have children.

So here I am on the other end of this moment in time and I know I'm a stronger person from it. I know our family will be ok and I know that I will always remember this baby. It's hard to say good-bye when you never had the chance to say hello; but I will always hold this baby in my heart. When we were at the Temple on Thursday, we had the opportunity to do sealings of children to their parents. I just felt what an amazing gift it is to know that our children are sealed to us for time and all eternity and that they are entitled to such wonderful blessings. It's amazing that these experiences can end up teaching us some of the most simple gospel principles.

I'm thankful for the comfort I've received from my Heavenly Father as I've been dealing with this loss. I know that a part of this sorrow is felt by more than just me. I was reading an article on LDS.org about miscarriages and it was talking about the loss and heartache both parents have from these. It simply said to look at the Savior's example and his response to Martha and Mary after Lazarus' death. To Martha He offered His testimony of life after death and asked her to reaffirm her testimony. When Mary expressed her grief over the loss of her brother, the scriptures simply state, “Jesus wept” (John 11:35).

I'm thankful for the knowledge I have of the Plan of Salvation. I know He has much more in store for me and my family and I know that He loves each one of us very much.

Cole sent me this quote last Wednesday. Over the past week, I've learned it is true. We have to have faith in order to get through the difficult things we face in this life.

“As you walk to the boundary of your understanding into the twilight of uncertainty, exercising faith, you will be led to find solutions to the challenges of life you would not obtain otherwise. No matter how strong your faith is, God will not always reward you immediately according to your desires. Rather, He will respond with what in His eternal plan is best for you. Your exercise of faith will forge strength of character available to you in times of critical need. Such character is not developed in moments of great challenge or temptation. That is when it is used.” –Unknown

ONE LONG CRAPPY WEEK

Well as I've said before this blog is like a journal to me, so today I'm sharing some very personal feelings and I apologize if I share too many details. I just feel this is a place to help me deal with things that are going on. It has been quite the crappy past 10 days. Lots of changes and feelings and things that I won't go into right now because looking back they are so trivial compared to this. There have also been silver linings during these dark clouds. I'm going to just share the events and feelings of the last 36 hours or so.
Many of you know we were anticipating the arrival of child #2 in May. I was so excited because it was perfect timing! Ashlyn and the baby would be 2 1/2 years apart and I wouldn't have to be pregnant in the Summer.
Well, Monday night we were getting ready to go to Cold Stone for Ashlyn's free birthday ice cream. Before we left, I noticed that I had light bleeding. I asked Cole what he thought and we decided to just wait and see if it went away. If it didn't then I was going to call the doctor after we got back. We had a fun time just being together as our little family and watching Ashlyn enjoy her blue ice cream (cotton candy flavor) with sprinkles. I really didn't think too much about what was going on in my body.
When we got home, the bleeding hadn't stopped and I was starting to have light cramping. I called the answering service for the doctor and they told me should would call me back within 45 minutes. So we waited. When she called be back, she asked the usual questions and told me to take it easy and that if it got worse to go to the hospital. She also told me to call the clinic in the morning and let them know what was going on. This was about 9:45, so I went in and got ready for bed and just laid on my left side for awhile. I was hoping and praying that it wasn't a big problem and that everything would be ok.
During the middle of the night I woke up with terrible stomach cramps. The next morning I woke up and as I was getting dressed I noticed that my stomach wasn't as hard as it had been. I didn't allow myself to pay much attention to it. I called the clinic and told them what was going on and they told me they would put a message into the nurse.
I have to say, I really like my doctor's nurse. She is so kind and listens to me and my questions. She called me back and said that I needed to come in and have some lab work done and an ultrasound. She said she would call and see if she could schedule the ultrasound for that afternoon. She called me back and said they could get me in at 1:30. She also said I needed to drink 32 oz of water by 12:30 and that I couldn't go to the bathroom either until after the ultrasound! Torture!
My Mom and Dad watched Ashlyn and Cole and I headed down to my appointment. I was stressing about it the whole way there. We finally found the building we were suppose to be in. That new hospital is ginormous! They took us back to the ultrasound room and checked my bladder to make sure it was ok. Then I got to go to the bathroom (yippee!) and then they had me change and they did an ultrasound. She was looking for the baby and since it was only the size of a medium green olive, it took a little bit of searching. Once she found the baby she turned to screen to show us. I could tell something was wrong by the look on her face. I prayed it wasn't so. She said there's the baby. I asked her if it was still alive and she shook her head and said no. She pointed to the baby's chest and said, "There should be a heartbeat right here." I just started crying. Cole gave me some kleenex and I just laid there. The techs told us to take our time and then left the room. I just stared at the screen of that little baby. I could see its head, arms, bum, legs and feet. I just didn't understand and I didn't know what I was feeling. I told Cole I felt like I had lost a baby even though we hadn't met, I still felt an incredible bond to it. We had been looking forward to a new member of our family and it was gone. Cole said he really hadn't worried too much about this happening with this pregnancy as he had with Ashlyn's. I think it really stunned him. He asked me if I some what knew this is what it was. I told him I had a feeling that this would be the result although I had maintained my faith. I got dressed and we walked back to the Women's Center. As we were walking I told Cole that it really helps that I have a baby to go home to. This experience has made me much more grateful for Ashlyn and my pregnancy with her. I realize more now that she is a miracle and a blessing in our life.
Logic says that it is probably best it happened now and that there was obviously something wrong with the baby. And I agree it is better at 9 weeks instead of 6 months or 9 months. But emotions don't always go along with logic.
As we walked into the Women's Center a couple and their brand new baby were heading home. It just made me cry more. I never really understood the impact a miscarriage has on someone. Now I get it. Although there isn't anything tangible it still hurts. I think it made it harder because I actually saw the baby.
I went up to my doctor's office and waited. Linda, the nurse I love, came out and said she hadn't received the results of the ultrasound yet and that she didn't know what was going on. I told her and she just gave me a hug and said she was so sorry. She went and checked and then told me I still needed to go and have my labs done so they could check things out.
We went over to the lab and Cole stayed in the waiting room since he hates needles and I knew there was a possibility he would pass out. While I was getting my blood drawn, he called his Dad and told them what had happened. I was trying to hold myself together. The nurse took me back and asked me how I was doing. I just broke down again. I think it really surprised her but she was so sweet. She said she was sorry and asked if I needed a hug. I took her up on the offer. As she was preparing to draw my blood, I saw her wipe a tear away. What a nice lady, she didn't even know me, yet she shared in my sorrow. We started talking and I found out that her granddaughter's name is Ashlyn too. Her Ashlyn is 3 1/2. We laughed about how funny they are. I thanked her for her kindness and went back over to the doctor's office. Since I am RH-negative, I had to have a shot. As we waited, Linda, explained to me what to expect over the next few days and what procedures will have to be done to resolve this. I got my shot and a bright blue crayon band-aid. When we got to the car I told Cole I needed a Dr. Pepper. We had to make a stop on the way home to pick up some Witch's Brooms that I had ordered at Swiss Days. They are adorable. Anyway, then Cole pulled into the 7-11. I went in and got a slurpee and a donut and they were delicious.
When we got back to my parents house, I just started crying all over again. They gave us hugs and told us how sorry they were. My mom had a miscarriage before her pregnancy with me, so she and my dad know what we are dealing with. They were so sweet. Then Ashlyn woke up from her nap and came out her happy self. I gave her a big hug and told her how much I love her. I asked my Mom if she would let our family know. I just didn't have it in me to call everyone. I did call Paige, because she was SO excited for us and the new baby. I feel bad though because I made her cry at her dance class! Paige is like a little sister to me, and she is such a kind and loving girl.
We went home and Cole was so good to entertain Ashlyn while I read up on miscarriages and just sat and thought about the days events. My sister called and I told her what had happened. She was so cute, she told me she had to run into Costco and that she would be right over with dinner. I really appreciate her thoughtfulness. We were just going to have eggs and she brought us Chicken and Pumpkin Bread Pudding (divine!) and luckily I had side dishes in the cupboard and fridge. :) She put together the dinner and as we were sitting down, my mom stopped by. After we ate, my brother called to see how I was doing. It was nice to have my family with me.
By 10:00 I was beat. I think I had cried enough for all of us. So I asked Cole if he would e-mail my friends and family and let them know what had happened. He told me he would take care of it and I went to bed.
This morning I woke up and saw that Cole had sent the nicest e-mail to everyone. And that I had so many responses from my friends. I just want to say Thank You to everyone. I really appreciate your thoughts, prayers, dinners, offers to take Ashlyn, and offers to do anything for me. I appreciate each one of you and I'm grateful for my friendships. I know I couldn't get through this alone. This is definitely a trial for me, but I know there is something to learn from this and that Heavenly Father has a plan for me and our family. Cole and I were asked to do a sealing assignment tomorrow, and I'm very grateful for the Temple and I'm looking forward to sitting with Cole in the Temple and being able to get through this together. I'm feeling ok and I'm just waiting for my body to do its thing. I hoping it will be done sooner rather than later. I want to take care of everything and start to move on.
Thanks again for your love and support.
Julie

All in a Weekend!

Last week was our annual time share up in Snowbird. I hadn't been up there in a couple of years so it was nice to get away for a couple of days and just relax! Our condo overlooks the heated family pool. This is both good and bad. Good-because growing up our parents would send us down and then sit on the patio and watch us. They never really did answer my question of "What was your plan if one of us was drowning?" Were they going to jump 3 stories into the bushes? Thankfully, we never had to find out. Bad-It's really noisy at times! Thankfully the pool closes at 9 pm and they kick everyone out at 9.

Well, Ashlyn has never been to snowbird and she was SO excited when she saw that there was a pool and she could go swimming! Here's her reaction:

Paige and Olivia were out of school for UEA so they came up with us. In the 2 days we were there Ashlyn, Paige and Olivia went swimming 3 times. I went 2 times. The girls took Ashlyn so I could try and take a nap since Ashlyn didn't sleep that great the first night. The last night we were there, Ashlyn did not want to get out of the pool. We were in there for nearly 2 hours. The kid has no fear. I think her favorite part was in the shallow end, she could touch the bottom so she didn't need to hold onto anyone. However, she would then try to venture out to the deeper end and would then get annoyed when I tried to hold onto her. She is definitely a fish out of water!

The other thing Ashlyn really liked about Snowbird was she didn't have a high chair/booster seat up there. She was a big girl and got to sit in a chair. Ahh the little things in life! Every morning for breakfast, she would sit by Paige and want to eat Paige's cereal. I also gave her toast with our homemade raspberry peach jam. Here are a few pictures of her licking the toast. Hey, who said anything about actually eating the bread!

And while we were there, Ashlyn learned how to say M&M's and Olivia. It's hilarious!

Overall it was a much needed low key weekend, filled with Chick Flicks, treats, and lots of swimming fun!